I have something I can't get out of me. Not through dancing, music, writing... Nothing I try helps. The feeling sticks and stays, no matter what.

I don't know what it is. Love, un faible pour qn, despair, du peur.... Something that makes me wanna escape, disappear, hide from the most of the world.

It's a never ending need to be surrounded by friends, people who can take care of me. Just incase I fall, you know. Cause I've started to fear falling again. I'm afraid of being alone with my thoughts, they can be so mean to me times and times. They try and keep me awake day and night and whisper unpleasant things while I'm asleep. I shut my ears, doesn't help. Only other people scare them away. Other people, who make me see the world as it is - me as I am - instead of all the shadows.